Pineapple Hair and Beauty Salon
by Crimson Cupcake
Summary: "Hey, Ken?" ... "What, Chikusa?" ... "Do you think Mukuro-sama needs...a haircut?" And that is how Rokudo Mukuro found himself sitting in a chair with an incompetent hairdresser snipping at his beautiful blue locks. Late birthday present; CRACK!


**A/N:** Personally, I thought this turned out pretty good, considering the time frame in which I had to write it in (and the STRESS xD) And it almost seemed to have a plot at the end...almost. Anyway, happy very late birthday to Rokudo Mukuro-sama, and hopefully he does not kill me for this...erm, crack.

Notes: The beginning is two years before canon. Also, the end strays from canon and there is a very very slight hint of 6918. But only very slight (and for crack means)

Disclaimer: If I owned Reborn, Mukuro's birthday would be the same as _mine_! (And it isn't, mind you)

* * *

Mukuro stared.

Ken and Chikusa stared back.

Mukuro stared some more.

Ken and Chikusa stared back some more.

Mukuro averted his gaze. "Kufufu," he chuckled. "So what you are saying is...that you find it necessary for me to take a trip to the...what was the place you suggested again?"

"Pineapple Hair and Beauty!" Ken piped up immediately.

He smirked. "Ah, yes. So. You find it necessary for me to take a trip to the Pineapple Hair and Beauty salon and perhaps sit there and allow the...the..."

"Hairdressers," Chikusa prompted helpfully.

"..._hairdressers_," Mukuro said distastefully, "...to use utensils and tools such as a comb and _scissors_ to cut and shape my hair in any way they see fit."

Ken grinned enthusiastically. "Any way _you_ see fit, Mukuro-san!"

Mukuro settled his mismatched eyes on him. "And if they do not have the hairstyle that I desire?"

Chikusa shrugged, pushing up his glasses. "Kill them and move on."

The Kokuyo gang leader smirked. "I see. Show me the place."

He eyed the shop disappointedly. It was nothing out of the ordinary, like every single other shop in every single other street in every single other suburb in every single other state in every single other country in every single other plane—wait. Okay, so maybe it wasn't going that far. But it was still horribly normal.

"In there?" Mukuro asked.

Ken and Chikusa nodded simultaneously. "In there," they both said.

Oh what the heck.

Mukuro went in.

A female hairdresser came to him immediately and eyed his unkempt, long, _blue_ hair. "You want a haircut, sir?"

"Kufufu, yes. Why else would I be here, after all?"

"Right this way, sir."

He followed her and sat down in the unoccupied chair. He flicked through the hairstyles in a book, frowning at every single one. At last, he made up his mind. "Cut my hair in the shape of a pineapple," he ordered.

The hairdresser looked confused. "Um, sir? We don't do...uh...pineapple hairstyles."

"Your shop is called Pineapple Hair and Beauty, is it not?"

"Y-Yes, but—"

"If you do not comply, I will follow Chikusa's advice and kill you before moving on." Mukuro nodded towards his two accomplices out the window, one of whom was looking away uninterestedly and the other waving and jumping with a positively jubilant expression on his face.

Was it his imagination, or was the hairdresser starting to edge away from him? "R-Right away, sir! Right away!"

**~ PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE ~  
**

Rokudo Mukuro, the resident evil mafia pineapple, was bored.

How could he be not? He had just spent two hours sitting in a chair, watching the reflection of someone cutting his beautiful blue locks. It had been a rather painful experience at first (a lot of cries of "MY POOR BEAUTIFUL HAIR!") but eventually he decided to stop scaring the hairdresser out of her wits with his illusions, such as turning his hair into snakes and the like.

He looked back out the window. Chikusa was looking away, annoyed, as usual, and Ken was still waving and jumping around excitedly. He had unlimited energy.

"It is done!" the hairdresser announced.

Mukuro turned his attention back to the mirror and saw...

...his face.

Well, yes. And then he noticed his hair.

"...It's...horrible!" he snapped in disgust. "Why does it make my hair look like an avocado? This is the worst skill I've seen in two centuries! Trim it again!"

It was his imagination that the hairdresser was close to tears. "Yes, sir," she cried, picking up the scissors again.

**~ PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE ~**

"It still looks terrible," Mukuro smirked half an hour later. "Again!"

**~ PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE ~**

"That part's too long!" he complained after another full hour of sitting there. Even _Ken_ was starting to get bored, and that was saying something. Although, glancing out the window, Mukuro saw that Chikusa was now entertaining him with a yo-yo.

_Good subordinate_, he thought satisfactorily.

**~ PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE ~**

Rokudo Mukuro resisted vaporizing the hairdresser. Granted, he couldn't actually _vaporize,_ perse, but he liked to tell himself he could. "I told you," he began icily, "to cut it into the shape of a _pineapple_, not a peacock! And I do not want myself bald, either. And the spikes can't be too big! Can you do it or can you not?"

"Y-Yes, sir."

Evidently, the hairdresser still had that threat of 'killing her and moving on' in mind. She set to work again.

**~ PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE ~**

"It..." Mukuro exclaimed, "...is perfect! The absolute perfection of perfectionism which can never be marred by anything as perfection is certainly perfect and that is why perfection in the shape of pineapple-flavoured potato chips is perfect for the perfect being of perfectness.

"Ken, Chikusa, we are leaving!"

And he walked out without a backwards glance, still admiring his beautiful hair.

**~ PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE ~**

**Two years later...**

Hibari Kyoya eyed Rokudo Mukuro.

No, my apologies, correction. Hibari Kyoya eyed Rokudo Mukuro's hair.

"That hairstyle is against the school rules," he said blandly, raising his tonfa to point threateningly at the very hairstyle that was insulting his very self and beliefs.

Rokudo Mukuro merely grinned and bowed. "Kufufu, you're welcome," he smiled. "In case you're wondering where I got it cut, it was at–"

"I don't care where you got it cut!" Hibari snapped. Then, after a brief pause... "Just out of curiosity, what was the place called?"

Mukuro smirked. "Hooked, aren't you?"

The next day, Hibari Kyoya changed the school rules.

**~ PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE****PINEAPPLE ~**

Two weeks later, when Gokudera Hayato bombed Hibari Kyoya out of his prison, he was surprised to find the Head of the Disciplinary Committee...

"WHAT IS WITH THAT RIDICULOUS HAIRSTYLE IN THE SHAPE OF A STRAWBERRY?"

"It's a _pineapple_, herbivore!"

Gokudera stared. "...WHAT IS WITH THAT RIDICULOUS HAIRSTYLE IN THE SHAPE OF A PINEAPPLE?"

"..._Shut up!"_

* * *

**A/N: **I love the end the most xD I debated on making Mukuro's hairdresser Haru, but that wouldn't fit the canon storyline...so I just made it some random xD

You know you want to click the button 8D

~CC


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